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Shakespearean Existences by BenGoodspeed Shakespearean Existences by BenGoodspeed
:facebook: Godspeed

"3-31-97
This is a wierd time, wierd life, wierd existence. I think a lot. Think... Think... that's all my life is.

I wonder how/when i got so fucked up...
when Dylan got covered up by this entity containing Dylan's body...

4-15-97
existence is a great hall, life is one of the rooms, death is passing thru the doors

Since existance has known, the 'fight' between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end.
If people looked at History, they would see what happens.

9-5-97
Goodbye all the crushes ive ever had, just shells.... images, no tu truths... BUT WHY? YeS, You can read this, why did god [incoherent scrawl]

Ignorance is bliss
desolation is knowledge
martyrism is hope for others
death is a reprieve
people are alike
i am different

Id rather have nothing than be nothing

10-14-97

I'll give the phony shit up in a second. want TRUE love....

Awareness signs the warrant for suffering.

11-3-97

everyone moves up
i always stayed.

The meak are trampled on, the assholes prevail, the gods are decieving

wanna die & be free w. my love... if she even exists.
She probably hates me... finds a jock who treats her like shit.

2-2-98

The hall will never end. The love will always be here.

zombies try to destroy what they don't understand
the gods are slaves to the majority of zombies

I hoped we could have been together... you seem a lot like me. Pensive, quiet, an observer, not wanting what is offered here (school, life, etc.)
You almost seem lonely, like me. You probably have a boyfriend, though.

8-10-98

I understand that i can never ever be a zombie, even if i wanted to. the nature of my entity..
Soon we will live in the halcyons of our minds, the one thing that made me a god.

1-20-99

the pain multiplies infinitely. never stops. im here, STILL alone, still in pain.

Im forever sorry about the pornos. the masturbation has stopped
I'm sorry
I LOVE YOU

I will be free one day, in the land of purity & my happiness, I will have a love, someone who is me in a way. Someday... Possibly thru this life, maybe another, but it will happen...

Love is more valuable than anything I know. I hate those who take it for granted.
love is greater than life. My love will find me. She feels as i do right now, i can feel it. we will be inseperable. Her & i. we will be free,
to explore the vast wonders of the stars... no limits. Nothing will stop us.

I now know the final
battle. the pain of
humanity is our love...

4-15-99

the me, the one, can now control the pain, & it is done. 5 more days.

These moments will be lost in the depressions & caverns of the human books, like tears, in rain, but the thoughts will be eternal.
To explain the happiness is impossible.
i cant stay thinking in a 2nd dimension, i go to the 5th! haha. 5 more days. 5 eternitys.

he & i are concieved from ourselves. every night of the self-awareness journey,
we are the nature of existence. the zombies were a test to see if our love was genuine.
I love you, love.

4-19-99
One day. Its interesting, when im in my human form, knowing im going to die. Everything has a touch of triviality to it.
like how none of this calculus shit matters. the way it shouldn't.
In 26.4 hours ill be dead, & in happiness.
HAHAHA, of course i will miss things.
not really."
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:iconzorrifox:
ZorriFox Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2017  Student General Artist
I had goosebumps reading this. Oh god
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2017
me too
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:icontimekept:
timekept Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
unfaved in order to fave again. I can't express my intense love for this.
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2015
n__n hahah thanks so much! I plan to paint this one in the future! I hope I have more room to fit more of his entries in. Don't miss this one if you didn't see it: fav.me/d80q9az
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:icontimekept:
timekept Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Totally missed it and I love it! Your art is unbelievably powerful, you have extraordinary talent ^_^
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:iconfrenchskinhead:
FrenchSkinhead Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
This is amazing!
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:icononeknightsstand:
OneKnightsStand Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2014  Student General Artist
I saw this again in my favorites folder and I almost faved it again. Wonderful piece.
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014
Thanks so much, honored n_n
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:iconha1f-b1ood:
Ha1f-B1ood Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Very thoughtful, insightful work. Makes you think. I enjoyed reading it as much as the art itself!
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2014   Writer
rather depressive, but still impressive. good work
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:iconsgtbuckwheat:
sgtbuckwheat Featured By Owner May 30, 2014
The piece has a surrealistic feel to it, which I like.
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner May 31, 2014
Thank you! I enjoyed reading your profile btw :)
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:iconambergriselement:
AmbergrisElement Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
A dark and very emotional work.
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:iconpinkkirby2:
Pinkkirby2 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I like the drawing and the story
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:icontallouh:
tallouh Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2013
featured your work here fav.me/d6n3ss1
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013
n__n
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:iconpinkfrickenelephants:
PinkFrickenElephants Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Holy crap..ouo
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:iconkatiousa15:
katiousa15 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013
Gret!!!
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:iconhunter-ravenwolf:
hunter-ravenwolf Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Professional Writer
The artwork is incredible, the character's tenuous grasp on reality and how it is slipping away is screamed across the page. And the text simply drips angst, it is palpable. A dark and powerful piece of art, and I can recall days spent in my youth in that same state of mind. There is a youngness to the profound statements, a perspective only a teenager can have. A powerful snapshot of a fractured mind racked by torment and insecurity.
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013
well, the thing about that is I don't see any insecurity in it whatsoever, nor do I think it is a state only a teenager can have. Just, perhaps that most people give up on certain things when they're a teenager. It's an odd thing really, I hear people say "insecurity" all the time, and they almost always use it in reference to people that I know to be the shining examples of having overcome the insecurity of a brutish, dulled, ego-ridden, television-brainwashed society.
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:iconhunter-ravenwolf:
hunter-ravenwolf Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013  Professional Writer
I'm all for overcoming the vacuous, instant gratification of the media and it's impossible and deadly standards of beauty. And yes, anyone who has suffered and known loss (virtually all of us) will fear to lose something precious because it is precious...

 I just nearly bothered to type up the definition of insecurity and then cite lines from the text portion of the document, but frankly, you are gloriously entitled to your own opinion of your own art piece. Perhaps I should have phrased my opinion, "I believe that this is a perspective commonly depicted in the tumultuous years of our teens, when we are discovering our identity and what is significant to us, not the things of significance inherited from our parents or our society. In addition, the nihilist themes remind me of my own teenage years before I personally realized that every facet of this existence is saturated with significance, that the ineffable sacred suffuses all things. Bear in mind, this is strictly my opinion."

Can I get a redo?
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013
hrmm, this gets confusing, however I think yes, if you cite a specific line and describe how it is insecure and what you mean specifically by insecure then that would be the perfect way of exemplifying it for me.

It's funny however, because I hear people use the word insecure so often, even in reference to these words specifically, that I've already read over all his words, and looked for any insecurity, at least given my understanding of what he meant (which I really feel I do considering I picked out and rewrote them to emphasis their meaning to me) and so, didn't even really have to look over the art again when you mentioned insecurity.
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:iconhunter-ravenwolf:
hunter-ravenwolf Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013  Professional Writer
If you want me to, I will, because your art deserves the attention, but I do not feel that it is necessary. While I could pick out specific lines that match a dictionary definition of "insecurity," the overall thematic elements are more what I am interested in. The fracturing of reality as the character discovers that there are other worlds than this, be they darker or lighter, is a much stronger element than a few semantic critiques of lines that can, perhaps, be construed as insecure.
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013
I really do feel that "insecurity", that is - personal esteem of oneself, is a word that is too often used to victim blame, and excuse a cruel society. In other words, a way of saying "oh, you feel like a slave? dehumanized? abandoned? well then it's YOUR fault for feeling that way" translating to "thus you are insecure." and then these types of kids are ignored and left to rot and die alone for their goodness, with nothing they can do about it, short of selling out.

I looked over everything again and am confident that's the only thing I can pull out of any of it... every single thing he said played on this one theme, so there is coherency that this is what he meant with each specific. so I must insist, do tell me what you see in it as insecure?
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:iconhunter-ravenwolf:
hunter-ravenwolf Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Professional Writer
no, you're right, I was wrong, my bad.
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:iconjosh-ryan:
JOSH-Ryan Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
DUDE! This is so good. I,ve thought almost all the same things at one time or other. And the drawing it's self is beautiful too!
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013
yesss me too
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:icondracusmagnus:
DracusMagnus Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
and the drawing is beautiful, something i would imagine would come from my hands as well had i your talent and had the egg fallen from my brain

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:icondracusmagnus:
DracusMagnus Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i am just smiling, im so glad i have met you, soul. glad youre still here, and glad to read such things as pour from you. i understood and felt every word, yet no comment really seems fit to adorn them with. 
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013
n_n

I felt the same way when writing out these selected parts of this guy's journal.. really a sense of knowing him, internally.
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:icondracusmagnus:
DracusMagnus Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
oh i thought it was yours lol
well either way the work was amazing in and of itself
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:iconwishididntwakeup:
wishididntwakeup Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I adore.
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013
thanks means a lot <3
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:iconwishididntwakeup:
wishididntwakeup Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Quite welcome. Glad to catch up on all I missed.
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:iconhiddenstash:
HiddenStash Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013   Traditional Artist
this is such a multi faceted piece
fantastic work
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:iconcupy:
cupy Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013  Professional
Ben you're amazing!
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:iconbengoodspeed:
BenGoodspeed Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2013
amazing o_O
haha n_n
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